FACETIOUS FELLOWS: DOMESTIC FAT CAT VS. FLIPPANT FAIR-HAIRED PET

http://psv4.userapi.com/c856528/u557807709/docs/d13/7151e7a837a2/Duet_Imeni_Chekhova_Oligarkh_I_Ego_Zhena_1_Yanvarya.mp4?extra=keRY9uJJTQxRuSF2x0csB99f2P2mdViv0feMzgnhfXTNlvEYZEu_N5r5PYiEtBIJqnSgYzV1UTorRwTS-E8e3NBsHGjPNMXSPjrEORiH7ikFvIVKgNZ6tvdc1bwSIzpiSIT26HcDgJdvOLFp&dl=1

One of the Chekhov Duet`s sketches
FACETIOUS FELLOWS: DOMESTIC FAT CAT VS. FLIPPANT FAIR-HAIRED PET
(Olygarch and his very young wife after the New Year Party)

The Chekhov Duet, or The Chekhovs (showmen Anton Lyrnik and Andrei Molochniy) was founded in 2006. They began in Kiev, one of Russia`s capital cities, but then moved to Moscow and became famous in All Russias (Great, New, Small and White) and then in the former USSR. 

Some time they were the residents of the prestigious Moscow Comedy Club. During its existence The Chekhov Duet performed on stage 1,400 times and created 103 video clips. They played several pairs of the different, yet recognizable characters taken from real life in Russia. The Chekhovs contributed a great deal to the Russian pop culture and entertainment idustry. By the way, didn`t you forget that great Anton Chekhov initially was just a popular humorist writer and author of the brilliant vaudevilles? That aspect of his literary activities is often, but quite in vain ignored in the West.

ANTON LYRNIK: Andrei and I have been learning oligarchs for many years, so we know pretty well that they`ve got their wives as well, and that, as a rule, those wives are a bit of pest. In general, an olygarch`s wive is 19 years old, she`re a blonde and model. We`d say a model of a human being. Now just imagine a very familiar situation, tycoon and his wife come back home early in the morning after the New Year night party. So it`s the 1st of January.

OLIGARCH ANTON: Lena, Lena! With care!
WIFE LENA: Hands off! Anton don`t touch me!
ANTON: Sit down!
LENA: I`m sitting, but don`t think that your care gonna make me shut up!
ANTON: Lena, it`s time to sleep.
LENA: I gonna say you directly, in plain Russian, not saying it at random that you, Anton, has spoiled me the whole party!
ANTON: Stop it, please!
LENA: Anton, if, if, if, if I`ve started, yes, ... I gonna finish it! In a way can you understand it? You`ve been sitting for the whole night with such a grimace on your face! With such a wry expression! Like this, hear, like you`ve got it right now! How can you have fun if next to you is sitting such a person! Explain me! It`s firstly, secondly, be offended or not, yes ... be nnn-n-n-n ...
ANTON: Not offended!
LENA: Do not interrupt me! You can`t drink at all!
ANTON: Lena, it`s you who can`t drink!
LENA: Who? Me? Do you remember the moment New Year came?
ANTON: Yes! I remember it.
LENA: But I don`t! So you`re still thinking I can`t drink? Last but not least! You abused me!
ANTON: A detailed account, please!
LENA: You presented me nothing!
ANTON: Say not so! No gift?!
LENA: Someone Santa Claus, an absolute stranger interfering in other people`s affairs went and presented me a new `Lexus`! And you ... you didn`t care a fig!
ANTON: Who did you say presented you that `Lexus`?
LENA: Santa Claus!
ANTON: Do you really believe he exists?
LENA: Yes, he does. He gives me his gifts every year!
ANTON: Look here, dear! It`s you who started this conversation. It`s the last New Year party we attended together in company of my friends! The last one, I swear!
LENA: How come?!
ANTON: You are the devil for drink!
LENA: Anton! A lady drank little just to raise her spirits ...
ANTON: A lady could do it, I don`t doubt it. But you were loaded again! You did it not as my beauty but as the beast! The beast, Lena! Where are your eyebrows?
LENA: I don`t know. When I got a light from fireplace they were still in their place.
ANTON: You disgraced me with your face in the face of my companions! Just killed me!
LENA: Companions? Your companions are such bores, no common ground to discuss anything! It was just me who had been keeping the ball rolling for the whole evening!
ANTON: You had been sitting and hiccoughing loudly!
LENA: And you are saying now that I was keeping silent?
ANTON: Lena, why did you drag that rapper, Timati, off the stage during his number? It happened amidst his performance!
LENA: I remembered his asking me about the best gatherings in here, so I took him with me to show the right places and people.
ANTON: Why did you call the ambulance at dawn? What for?
LENA: For one moment I felt everything in a very gruesome way and I was about to leave.
ANTON: You should have ordered a taxi!
LENA: Only the ambulance has got everything one needs to feel cheered up! Alcohol, wheels and young guys in their funny clothes!
ANTON: Lena, now go to sleep, sleep!
LENA: Tell me where`s my fur coat? My coat!
ANTON: In your wardrobe!
LENA: I mean coat of ice on the freezer!
ANTON: What coat of ice?
LENA: I`d concealed there my ear rings before dancing!
ANTON: It`s right time to go bye-bye!
LENA: You le-le-le-left me! I was moving up and down through all floors in the elevator and crying, `Anton!`
ANTON: You were sitting in the loo and pushing the button of water drain!
Lena, you need a doctor, you see! The shrink!
LENA: Anton, just listen what I read on VK,

It`s so easy to insult a person!
Words of evil are hot-tasted pepper.
However, then it`ll take an awesome
Effort
To assuage the heart you had offended!

Как легко обидеть человека,
Взял и бросил слово, злее перца,
А потом не хватит века,
Чтоб вернуть обиженное сердце.*

ANTON: Now I see that you`re incurable! You have to be put down as an ill pet. And all you friends on VK must go after you to the vet too to have all of them put away than to let them suffer!
LENA: What if you simply do not love me? What if you dislike me?
ANTON: No, I like you! Morever, I love you, Lena. It was me who prevented the firecracker`s explosion in your mouth! It was burning when I blew it out! It was me who found out a fire extinguisher and put out the flame that took your party dress! It was me who used to give gifts to you every year!
LENA: Wow! Anton! Was it you?
ANTON: It was me!
LENA: It appears it`s you who`s Santa Claus?! Anton, I can`t believe it. Come on, say `Ow-ow-ow!`
ANTON: Ow-ow-ow!
LENA: Santa-a-a!
ANTON: Now go to sleep, immediately, sleep, sleep!
THE END

* A poem by a Russian poet Edward Asadov (Эдуард Аркадьевич Асадов (Эдуард Арташесович Асадьянц) (1923-2004)

NIGHTIE-FLIGHTY
A man is putting her drunk wife to sleep. (She`s just returned from New Year Corporate Party).
WIFE: Pete, what`s flying over us?
HUBBY: Sleep quick! It`s a fly that is flying!
WIFE: Why is it so white?
HUBBY (being out of temper): It`s already put on its nightie!