Natasha Rostova goes to the ball

Natasha Rostova and her mom  go to the provincial ball party

(a modern Russian schwank)

A Russian fellow (a Russian variant of a `cockney` guy) is brilliantly dancing a Gipsy dance in a grotesque, farcical style, a style of the so called Russian chançon, and telling a ball yarn keeping all necessary foul expressions intact to look more artistic, convincing and faithful to himself. You may seem him to be vulgar, but that very manner was usual during the Renaissance and that very type of humour was deeply loved by Leonardo da Vinci. 

Good evening! 
Once Natasha Rostova and her mom were rushing at full speed to the ball party in their carriage. 
Just fancy, a cart road in a country place, wooden wheels of their carriage. 
Natasha and her mom are having got bright make-ups on their faces. They are all dressed out! White ballgowns! 
Oh-oh-oh-oh! Rat-tat-rat-tat-tat-tat-tat! Faster! Faster! 
Riding their fucking terrible horses hard! 
Mom to their coachman, `Can we ride even faster, eh? We’re late for the ball!` 
The coachman is mumbling something in response, but quite unexpectedly one word is being articulated rather clear: `Can`t`!` 
The carriage has accelerated just a bit. Natasha is inquiring her mom, 
-Mom, what’s a cunt?`** 
Oh, daughter, ha-ha-ha, how to explain it?` 
(apart) `Who`s made me, an old slut, ask that vulgar coachman to speed up?! Fuck! Your bunny wrote! *
-Natasha, it’s the local word defining a horse! 
Wow! They’ve come in time! 
-Oh-oh-oh! Ah-ah-ah! 
The ball party began. While dancing with lieutenant Rzewski Natasha has remembered that he`s from the local place and asked him, 
-Lieutenant, by the way, have you got a cunt? 
-Of course, not. What a silly question! 
-It can’t be so! Ha-ha-ha-tee-hee! As to me I’ve got it!` 
Lieutenant, `Really? I didn’t know!` 
Natasha, `Yes! Yes! Yes! No kidding! When I stroke and groom it, it neighs like that!` (the performer’s imitating a neighing horse).

* YOUR BUNNY WROTE, OR BUGS BUNNY
The American programmers can’t understand the reason by which their Russian colleagues are used to utter that enigmatic phrase every time they have to find out a bug in their programs. Why do they all mention someone`s bunny who wrote something?! Bugs Bunny?

Your bunny wrote in English sounds as a very tough, yet often used, especially by men, Russian unprinted expression of vexation. Literally, it means `the fucked mouth` or `the mouth being fucked`. It`s being never used as an abuse word expression, but only as an exclamation which totally lost its initial abusive meaning.

** O those homophones generating misunderstandings!

Audio producer to a pop singer and her partner: `Not `you cunt, touch her` but `you can`t touch her`!